Have I mentioned that I'm beyond stoked that it's spring? I'm so not a cold-weather person and I get downright giddy when it finally goes away. Well, that, plus the fact that I love shoes. And, last weekend, I just happened to have procured the crown jewel for my (considerable) collection. Yes, sir. These puppies are the sexiest, strappiest shoes that even Carrie Bradshaw would be proud to call her own.

The hiccup? My feet are atrocious. But, since I blew all my cash on the aforementioned investment piece, I can't afford to hit the salon for a pedicure. Who cares? Thanks to these tips gleaned from working around beauty gurus, I'll give myself one heckofa DIY pedi job.

Here's how...

Step 1: Remove any old polish using a cotton pad not a shred-ready tissue.

Step 2: Soak your feet in warm, sudsy water (bubble bath works, so does hydrating dish soap). Have tired, swollen feet? Add some Epsom salts to the water -- it works like a charm.

Step 3: Dry off one foot and massage a drop of cuticle oil onto each nail. Glide a wooden cuticle stick around the nail to push back any dead skin that might be clinging to the nail plate. Switch feet (putting the first one back into the water) and repeat.

Step 4: Pull your first foot out of the foot bath and wet your leg up to your knee. Using a granular foot scrub, massage along the bottoms of your feet up to your knee concentrating on stubborn calloused spots like the balls of your feet and dry/cracked heels.

Step 5: Glide a callus smoother/foot file over rough areas to smooth (not annihilate) the skin on your toes and bottoms of your feet. (Psst...if you don't happen to have a dedicated "callus remover" a coarse emery board works just fine.)

Step 6: Use a curved toenail trimmer to cut the corner of each nail at a 45-degree angle to help prevent painful ingrown nails, then cut too-long nails straight across. Smooth/shape nails with a fine-grain, flat file. Next, swipe a remover-soaked cotton pad over nails a final time to remove any hidden residue. Use a toe separator (or weave tissue between your toes) to prep for polish.

Step 7: Apply one thin layer of base coat, followed by two thin coats of nail enamel in your chosen color and one final thin layer of shiny top coat. Let each coat dry for about two minutes between applications. (Don't know which color to choose? Here's my take on the latest crop of pretty spring nail polishes.

Step 8: To make your pedicure last longer, apply a fresh coat of clear polish every three days. (Do this right after hitting the beach to make polish dulled by sand look fresh again.)

Step 9: Strap on ridiculously hot (outrageously-expensive-but-you-only-live-once) shoes and strut your stuff.

Now that you know how to get pretty piggies, tell me, what do you think of guys who get mani/pedis?