Congratulations on your 100th follower and those five re-tweets of the 112-character shade you threw about
Lady Gaga's hand bra. You're a great tweeter, really. But not as great as
@BeyonceCutHair
or
@iamthebrows, our favorite recent Twitter accounts dedicated to distinctive celebrity body hair. Yes, its true -- these ladies' facial and/or head hair, which occupies almost negative space in the universe, has a more notable Twitter following and sassier things to say than most warm-blooded human beings. Sad? Maybe. True? Definitely. So, we couldn't help but stalk the entire history of their accounts in search of our favorite Tweets.
Although the latest breathless updates have Lady B sporting a
fierce bob, her
original three-inch crop from two weeks ago inspired onlookers 'round the Twittersphere. It particularly struck one covert operative, who launched @BeyonceCutHair, an account dedicated to tweeting regularly from the perspective of Beyonce's short cut. @BeyonceCutHair was forced into an untimely ceasefire when B added extensions, but looking back, Beyonce's short cut had some profound things to contribute, including a brand new hash tag. Here are a few of @BeyonceCutHair's greatest tweets:
° I told Blue Ivy to put them damn scissors down. She didn't listen...
° Cut my bangs, cut my bangs. This is my new hairdo, lace fronts I don't need you. I'm not playing games.
° Trading places.
pic.twitter.com/A9AP7oMAuC
° Beyonce was singing I whip my hair back and forth. I had to stop her and tell her she can't sing that song anymore. #falseadvertising
° People saying B is trying to be like Keri Hilson. *pause* Her hair is longer than Keri's career.
° #ShorterThanBeyoncesHair Keri Hilson's Career.
° #ShorterThanBeyoncesHair Miley Cyrus' butt.
° #ShorterThanBeyoncesHair Your money piles. Getcha paper up!
° #ShorterThanBeyoncesHair Taylor Swift's relationships
° If I were a boy, even just for a day. I would cut off all my hair, and watch my split ends fall away. IF I WERE A BOY!!!!!
B's short cut and corresponding Twitter might be gone for now, but actress Lily Collins' eyebrows are here for the long haul. On
Chelsea Lately, Collins discussed the anonymous tweeter who hijacked the identity of her gloriously thick brows. "They're kind of part creepy, kind of part cool," Collins said about @iamthebrows, who has been brow-tweeting since 2011. "I don't know what's worse," she continued, "not knowing, or knowing the person [behind it] and seeing them every day. It could be my mom for all I know -- I have no idea."
Here are the best tweets from Collins's wonderfully caterpillar-esque brows -- which, let it be known, are a completely separate entity from Lily herself. A completely separate, particularly feisty entity:
° Is that wax i smell? Nooooooooooo. #eyebrowproblems
° Lost another sister to the tweezers today. RIP bro(w). #eyebrowproblems
° In the words of miley cyrus "i can't be tamed" #eyebrowproblems
° I'm bringing bushy back.
° #thewayiseeit ....oh wait, i make it so my girl Lily CAN'T see. Oh well, I'm still beautiful.
° If you try and pluck me Lily might punch you in the face but #youdeserveit
° Haters can pluck off. #imflawless
° I'm fabulous. #SomethingILearnedLongAgo
° To braid or not to braid? #YOLO
° I'm so bushy my brows have brows.
° Sooo hungover from Lil and I's bday. #wegohard #happybrowdaytome
° I think it is time for a good wax #aprilfools
° It's not you, it's your brows. #bestbreakupexcuses
° Getting extra bushy this month. Gotta make sure Lil stays warm through the winter.
° These brows are on fire. #browpower