Quandary: When we're in restaurants, my friend puts on lipstick at the table and blots her lips on the cloth napkin. I love her dearly but, c'mon, this has to be wrong. Right?
Solution: "Truth be told, it's perfectly fine to reapply if you can do it without a mirror," maintains Post, who shudders at the visual of women using their butter knives as mirrors. "Lipstick is the only cosmetic we say is OK at the table."
As for the napkin ... "A napkin's purpose in life is to keep you neat and tidy at the table. If the restaurant doesn't want lipstick on their napkins, they shouldn't put them out." So there! Oh, and all you Martha Stewarts out there, take note -- Post contends that the same goes for your linens when you're entertaining.
Next: What to do when your friend won't forego her tacky acrylics
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Quandary: One of my oldest friends still wears long acrylic nails with those tacky designs on them. How can I tell her (nicely) that they're so over?
Solution: "First you need to judge whether making a comment like this is something your friendship can withstand," advises Post, "some definitely couldn't handle it." If you think yours is solid enough, you need to consider her feelings and stay away from derogatory words like "tacky."
Then, you need to analyze why you feel compelled to comment on her nails in the first place. Are you embarrassed to be seen with her? "Too bad," Post says. "Personally, I wouldn't say anything. This is you butting your nose in where it doesn't belong. It's her style and her choice."
Next: Is it gross and uncouth to wear a hair band on your wrist?
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Quandary: Is it ok to wear a hair band on your wrist? My friend told me she thinks it's gross because it's been in my hair but I don't see anything wrong with it.
Solution: "Wrists were meant to be hair-tie holders!" jokes Post, who sees absolutely nothing wrong with wearing one in all but first-date or serious workplace settings. As for your follicle-phobic friend, "You can thank her for her opinion and change the subject."
Next: How to handle your modesty in a spa setting
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Quandary: When we go to the spa, my friends all parade around naked and hop into the Jacuzzi in their birthday suits. This makes me totally uncomfortable as I'm more modest and always wear my swimsuit. What's spa protocol for this?
Solution: Unfortunately there's not really a strict "spa protocol" to hide behind and, truth be told, it's totally normal for people to walk around in the buff in that type of locker room setting.
Post thinks that it'd be a whole lot easier to plan pamper-fests with pals who are more conservative. "Different friends have different modesty levels," she reasons. "Is it really worth it to go to the spa with these naked people and be uncomfortable? That defeats the whole purpose of a relaxing day!"
And, if you don't have a primmer group to hang with, choose a spa that has a Jacuzzi in a more public setting. That way your friends will be forced to cover up!
Next: How do I know if I'm wearing too much makeup?
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Quandary: Is there a general rule when it comes to how much makeup to wear? I don't want to walk through my day barefaced but also want to be appropriately made up for work -- my worst nightmare is being too garish.
Solution: Generally speaking, the amount of makeup a girl wears is a matter of taste -- then again some of us have good taste and others, well, not so much. But Post reasons that, "If [wearing] too much is your worst nightmare, you're probably not going to overdo it." So take some solace from that, and if you want to be sure, you can always head to the makeup counter for some professional advice. "Explain your concern to the salesgirl and she'll be able to walk you through how exactly to get the natural look you want."
Next: What's the deal with getting your teeth whitened in a mall?
Put your napkin on your lap. Say "excuse me" when you burp. Don't shave your legs on the bus.
You don't have to be Miss Manners to get the basic rules of decorum down pat. It's the other things, the things mom didn't teach you, that can get tricky -- especially when it comes to beauty Dos and Don'ts.
We need guidance. We need answers. We need Lizzie Post.
Besides being the great, great granddaughter of Emily Post (the unequivocal authority on manners), Lizzie Post is an acclaimed author and spokesperson for the Emily Post Institute, an organization that works tirelessly at being a social barometer for etiquette and civility in America. Judging by the many things we've witnessed while in line at the bank, on the subway and more, they sure have their work cut out for them!
So if you want answers to beauty questions that have long confounded you, questions like: "Do I have to be naked at the spa?" and "How much perfume is too much?" Or, if you want to know how to handle awkward situations like whether to tell a friend that she looks like a pig in a blanket in those jeans, you've come to the right place.
