Quandary: When we go to the spa, my friends all parade around naked and hop into the Jacuzzi in their birthday suits. This makes me totally uncomfortable as I'm more modest and always wear my swimsuit. What's spa protocol for this?
Solution: Unfortunately there's not really a strict "spa protocol" to hide behind and, truth be told, it's totally normal for people to walk around in the buff in that type of locker room setting.
Post thinks that it'd be a whole lot easier to plan pamper-fests with pals who are more conservative. "Different friends have different modesty levels," she reasons. "Is it really worth it to go to the spa with these naked people and be uncomfortable? That defeats the whole purpose of a relaxing day!"
And, if you don't have a primmer group to hang with, choose a spa that has a Jacuzzi in a more public setting. That way your friends will be forced to cover up!
Next: How do I know if I'm wearing too much makeup?
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Quandary: Is there a general rule when it comes to how much makeup to wear? I don't want to walk through my day barefaced but also want to be appropriately made up for work -- my worst nightmare is being too garish.
Solution: Generally speaking, the amount of makeup a girl wears is a matter of taste -- then again some of us have good taste and others, well, not so much. But Post reasons that, "If [wearing] too much is your worst nightmare, you're probably not going to overdo it." So take some solace from that, and if you want to be sure, you can always head to the makeup counter for some professional advice. "Explain your concern to the salesgirl and she'll be able to walk you through how exactly to get the natural look you want."
Next: What's the deal with getting your teeth whitened in a mall?
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Quandary: I am always appalled when I see people at the mall getting their teeth whitened. Am I being too old-fashioned or is that just downright un-classy?
Solution: When it comes to PDW (public displays of whitening), Post is pragmatic. "There's no etiquette rule on whether to do it or not, but if you're willing to sit there and have the rest of the mall stare at you, then you can go for it."
Next: How much fragrance is too much?
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Quandary: I don't want to be one of those girls who everyone thinks wears too much perfume but I love fragrance! How much is too much? Is there some sort of guideline?
Solution: Every office has that one person that makes you wish you'd taken the stairs when she steps on the elevator. To avoid being too fragrant, Post suggests "spraying two squirts into the air -- one a bit above your head, the other at chest level -- and walking through the mist." If you don't have a spray, just dab a tiny bit on your neck and wrists, both of which are pulse points that emit more heat than other parts of your body. More heat equals more aroma.
Next: The bottom line on filing your nails in public
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Quandary: I know it's inappropriate to clip your nails in public, but is it OK to file them?
Solution: What grosses people out about grooming are the shedding of skin, hair and nail bits that are involved so it's important to be considerate and aware. "I wouldn't do my filing on a subway or where I'm in close proximity to people but if I'm sitting on a park bench or at my desk, that's fine," rationalizes Post. "Just ensure that the noise isn't disturbing anyone. That's a definite no-no."
Next: Whether to floss at work
Put your napkin on your lap. Say "excuse me" when you burp. Don't shave your legs on the bus.
You don't have to be Miss Manners to get the basic rules of decorum down pat. It's the other things, the things mom didn't teach you, that can get tricky -- especially when it comes to beauty Dos and Don'ts.
We need guidance. We need answers. We need Lizzie Post.
Besides being the great, great granddaughter of Emily Post (the unequivocal authority on manners), Lizzie Post is an acclaimed author and spokesperson for the Emily Post Institute, an organization that works tirelessly at being a social barometer for etiquette and civility in America. Judging by the many things we've witnessed while in line at the bank, on the subway and more, they sure have their work cut out for them!
So if you want answers to beauty questions that have long confounded you, questions like: "Do I have to be naked at the spa?" and "How much perfume is too much?" Or, if you want to know how to handle awkward situations like whether to tell a friend that she looks like a pig in a blanket in those jeans, you've come to the right place.
