Quandary: I don't want to be one of those girls who everyone thinks wears too much perfume but I love fragrance! How much is too much? Is there some sort of guideline?
Solution: Every office has that one person that makes you wish you'd taken the stairs when she steps on the elevator. To avoid being too fragrant, Post suggests "spraying two squirts into the air -- one a bit above your head, the other at chest level -- and walking through the mist." If you don't have a spray, just dab a tiny bit on your neck and wrists, both of which are pulse points that emit more heat than other parts of your body. More heat equals more aroma.
Next: The bottom line on filing your nails in public
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Quandary: I know it's inappropriate to clip your nails in public, but is it OK to file them?
Solution: What grosses people out about grooming are the shedding of skin, hair and nail bits that are involved so it's important to be considerate and aware. "I wouldn't do my filing on a subway or where I'm in close proximity to people but if I'm sitting on a park bench or at my desk, that's fine," rationalizes Post. "Just ensure that the noise isn't disturbing anyone. That's a definite no-no."
Next: Whether to floss at work
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Quandary: Is it OK to floss at work? A bunch of my co-workers do this and, while I applaud their oral hygiene, it grosses me out to have to bear witness. Should they be doing this in the stall or are they justified out in public?
Solution: Since flossing requires a mirror, Post says it's OK -- with one exception. "If I'm going to be picking my teeth at work, I'll keep a little spray bottle of Windex in my desk so I can wipe the mirror down afterwards."
If it really bothers you, try to time your trips to the loo during off-peak hours when you're less likely to come in contact with anyone's spittle. "There's quite a lot of self-adjustment you can do before you have to get into a confrontation," Post counsels. "Try thinking, 'What can I do to change this situation for myself?' before trying to make people work around your parameters."
Next: Whether or not to tell a friend about something embarrassing she's got going on
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Quandary: Should I tell a friend about a wayward chin hair and, if so, how? Sure, it's mortifying to hear but, if the tables were turned, I'd want to know.
Solution: When it comes to telling someone something they don't want to hear, knowledge is power, whether they have lipstick on their teeth, look awful in an outfit or have something coming out of their nose, "it helps to have advance insight about whether or not they want to know those types of things," says Post matter-of-factly. "I try to make a mental note when friends say things like, 'If I ever have blank, please tell me.' Broaching the subject ahead of time can really save a lot of squirming about what to do."
If you don't have any advance insight as to how to proceed with a friend, do it gingerly or not at all says Post. "Take her aside and let her know you're telling her because you're her friend. Turn it into a 'girl power' moment."
Next: How to handle the bathroom attendant
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Quandary: One of my favorite restaurants employs a bathroom attendant who pretty much forces you to dry your hands with the paper towel she hands you. Sometimes I'll use the hand cream, but do I need to tip her for this "service" I didn't ask for?
Solution: If you're eating at the kind of joint that hires someone to work the powder room, you've "got the spare dollar to throw down," rationalizes Post. "It's clearly the intention of the restaurant to have the attendant be of service, so don't discredit her for doing her job." And, since she's the one shelling out the money for the sundry products, you absolutely should tip her if you use something.
Remember, it's a good rule of thumb to bring your purse with you to the bathroom. You never know what you might need.
Put your napkin on your lap. Say "excuse me" when you burp. Don't shave your legs on the bus.
You don't have to be Miss Manners to get the basic rules of decorum down pat. It's the other things, the things mom didn't teach you, that can get tricky -- especially when it comes to beauty Dos and Don'ts.
We need guidance. We need answers. We need Lizzie Post.
Besides being the great, great granddaughter of Emily Post (the unequivocal authority on manners), Lizzie Post is an acclaimed author and spokesperson for the Emily Post Institute, an organization that works tirelessly at being a social barometer for etiquette and civility in America. Judging by the many things we've witnessed while in line at the bank, on the subway and more, they sure have their work cut out for them!
So if you want answers to beauty questions that have long confounded you, questions like: "Do I have to be naked at the spa?" and "How much perfume is too much?" Or, if you want to know how to handle awkward situations like whether to tell a friend that she looks like a pig in a blanket in those jeans, you've come to the right place.
