Before you judge me on wanting to look like the five-foot-two, less-than-a-hundred-pounds Kelly Ripa, hear this: I fully understand on a fundamental level that I will never, ever look like Kelly Ripa. I'm sane. Reasonable. Not short, or naturally thin. Oh, and I'm a brunette (wink!).
Seriously though -- do I want arms like Ripa's that don't flap in the wind? Yes.
Should my ass be less obtrusive? Probably.
Would it be nice to sit and not have a jellyroll slowly unfold over my jeans? Ab-solutely.
But above all, as a twenty-something woman, do I need to stop considering the walk, I repeat w-a-l-k, up the three flights of stairs to the office my fitness routine for the day? That, my friends, would be an affirmative.
I came to these revelations after a recent visit to the doc. I was sitting in the waiting room and spread across the coffee table were a bunch of "Fitness" and "Shape" magazines with bikini-clad celebs glaring their shiny teeth and flat bellies at me.
There she was -- little-but-larger-than-life Ripa posing in a neon orange two-piece. I picked up the mag and as I thumbed through the pages, reading about her adventures in motherhood, how she never exercised in her twenties, and her "new" love of Physique 57, a trendy workout my friend Tricia was just raving about as I shoveled in a cheesy omelet at brunch, I had a thought.
Do these high faultin' celebrity workouts splashed across glossy magazines actually work for real people? Could I, the former chubbiest girl in the 5th grade whose thighs have never not touched, get the toned body of a celebrity? Could this fitness fad really be as life changing for me as it was for Miss Ripa?
I was determined to find out, to make a change. I was determined to try this Physique 57.
Let's start by stating the facts. I have made it my mission to get a tight, toned celebrity body, but currently, I don't work out. Like, not at all. Yes, I am the rightful owner of a $30 a month LA Fitness membership, but that doesn't mean I am using the keychain card to do anything except pick my teeth after dinner. Classy, I know.
And I'm not alone (well, maybe the teeth-picking part). According to the surgeon general, more than 60 percent of adults don't exercise regularly and 25 percent of us don't work out at all. And yet we all worship (and secretly despise) celebs with perfect bodies who essentially have "Be superhumanly hot and toned" written into their studio contracts.
So why are we all so sedentary, especially when the benefits of staying active are well documented? After all, breaking a sweat has been proven to ward off disease, improve your mood, and boost your energy. Hell, it can even put some spice back into your sex life.
I know that for me, a host of excuses help me hit the couch instead of spin class after work. I tell myself I don't have time, I'm too tired, I get bored, confused, self-conscious, blah blah blah. So before I even start, I'm feeling like Physique 57 is going to have to really bring it in order to get my ass in "Ripa" gear.
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How Ripa gets ripped
What is this workout and how does it get Ripa into crazy shape? This is what I want to know before committing. I do some research and make some calls (remember, on most days I'm not just a couch potato, but also a journalist).
One measly Google search and I find out that Physique 57 is worshiped not only by Ripa, but models like Christy Turlington � great, I'm going to fit right in. I then watch a video of Martha Stewart giving it a go and relax a bit. If Martha can do it, surely I will be OK.
I gather the basics: Physique opened its doors to hip Manhattanites in 2006, and is based on the popular "Lotte Berk Method," a combination of strength-training, dance, and orthopedic stretches created in the 1950s by a former well-known ballet dancer. It was co-founded by Jennifer Vaughan Maanavi, a dance enthusiast, Columbia MBA, and former Wall Street professional (pssh, not intimidating), and Tanya Becker, one of the foremost instructors of "The Lotte Berk Method" for more than a decade. It now has droves of fans and devoted followers all claiming unique, rapid results from the low-impact workout and thanks to so many clamoring for it, Physique opened new studios in New York and Los Angeles and came out with a series of fitness DVDs.
But more importantly, I wanted to know if this workout would work for me:
Fun dancing and ballet integration that's likely to keep me interested: Check.
Low impact, which is easier on my joints: Check.
Unique, rapid results: Double check.
Alright, where do I sign up?
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And so it begins
I show up to the relatively new Beverly Hills Physique 57 studio for my first class of my 30-day trial membership, pumped to experience the "unique, rapid results" Ripa, women on the Internet, and my friend Tricia, claimed were only a handful of classes away. Wearing some black yoga pants and a Hanes shirt, I felt cool, confident, ready to work it.
I walk into the carpeted studio (carpet? OK no judgment) for the "beginner" class with about 10 other women who all look relatively normal (i.e., not models -- phew) and find a spot in the back of the room. Kyle, the instructor, jogs in. He is lean, tall, and a super good-looking guy in a black tank top. And now I'm nervous.
"Grab a water bottle," he says. "You burn way more calories when you are hydrated." Sounds like crazy fitness instructor talk, but it's true: Researchers at the University of Utah found that adults who consume eight or more glasses of water each day burned significantly more calories than people who only drank four or less. Good thing I came to class with a 32-ouncer.
Kyle then introduces himself individually to each of us, asks about any preexisting injuries, and instructs us to grab a pair of five-pound weights. "Five pounds?" I think. No big deal, right?
Wrong.
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The method to the madness
I quickly find that each class follows a similar 57-minute (duh) format using five to eight pound hand weights, a ballet barre, and a "playground" ball. Each class also involves a bunch of exercises that use your own body weight, and all of it targets specific muscle groups at specific times.
The workout starts with the arms, then moves to the thighs, rear, abs, then cool down. Why? Co-founder Tanya Becker says, "starting with the arms is a great way to warm the body up and raise your heart rate. The arms have smaller muscles so they may not burn as many calories," which is why minimal, yet effective, time should be spent on them to prep the body for a workout.
Once you make it to the thighs and butt, your body starts to torch calories, says Becker, as these are the largest muscles in the body. Through what seems like never-ending repetitions of leg lifts, plies, squats, standing splits, "playground" ball squeezes (more on this later) and so on, this "interval overload" combines strength and cardio together for a high intensity, calorie-blasting workout that fatigues the muscle groups completely before you get a short stretching break where the muscles get to chill out and lengthen.
The core muscles (or abs) are engaged "80 percent of the class," says Becker, and then get an extra burst of action at the end of class with all kinds of crunches and scissor kicks.
So, as a total newbie, am I even surviving through the arm warm ups, you wonder? Very. Good. Question.
Before you judge me on wanting to look like the five-foot-two, less-than-a-hundred-pounds Kelly Ripa, hear this: I fully understand on a fundamental level that I will never, ever look like Kelly Ripa. I'm sane. Reasonable. Not short, or naturally thin. Oh, and I'm a brunette (wink!).
Seriously though -- do I want arms like Ripa's that don't flap in the wind? Yes.
Should my ass be less obtrusive? Probably.
Would it be nice to sit and not have a jellyroll slowly unfold over my jeans? Ab-solutely.
But above all, as a twenty-something woman, do I need to stop considering the walk, I repeat w-a-l-k, up the three flights of stairs to the office my fitness routine for the day? That, my friends, would be an affirmative.
I came to these revelations after a recent visit to the doc. I was sitting in the waiting room and spread across the coffee table were a bunch of "Fitness" and "Shape" magazines with bikini-clad celebs glaring their shiny teeth and flat bellies at me.
There she was -- little-but-larger-than-life Ripa posing in a neon orange two-piece. I picked up the mag and as I thumbed through the pages, reading about her adventures in motherhood, how she never exercised in her twenties, and her "new" love of Physique 57, a trendy workout my friend Tricia was just raving about as I shoveled in a cheesy omelet at brunch, I had a thought.
Do these high faultin' celebrity workouts splashed across glossy magazines actually work for real people? Could I, the former chubbiest girl in the 5th grade whose thighs have never not touched, get the toned body of a celebrity? Could this fitness fad really be as life changing for me as it was for Miss Ripa?
I was determined to find out, to make a change. I was determined to try this Physique 57.
