Before starting, I go to the Murad Inclusive Health Spa to get my skin evaluated. Murad esthetician Lori Cahitas checks my intracellular water level, along with my wrinkles, pore size, sun damage, and more. The higher the percentile, the better, she says. For my age, my skin is faring pretty well -- except for my wrinkles. At 24, being in the 17th percentile for wrinkles scares the you-know-what out of me. What will I look like in five, 10, 20 years (Worst fear? An old leather couch!) if I don't do something now? And while my red areas aren't bad at all, Cahitas says there are many more UV spots than there should be at my age, maturing under my skin and waiting to surface. Despite my initial hesitation -- and alright, I'm woman enough to admit it, downright annoyance -- with having to try this detox diet, I'm ready. Note to all you other detox newbies out there: Get your skin checked out by a pro if you need a little motivation. Trust me, it'll probably be the kick in the booty you need.
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Day 1: Give me caffeine, or give me death
I'm bracing myself for the raging b-word within me to emerge. Deprived of my morning and mid-afternoon caffeine fix, I can feel my irritability growing. And like clockwork, after my lunch of a (healthy) chicken and kale salad, food coma hits at 3 p.m. and I start nodding off at my desk. Instead of going for my usual coffee run, I go to the kitchen to refill my water cup. I've been making a conscious effort to drink more water than I usually do, which is crucial when you're detoxing. Think about it, says Gittleman: All those toxins your body is releasing have to go somewhere, and ideally that somewhere is out of your body. I run into my co-worker, Zack, in the office kitchen as I'm filling up my eighth pint-size glass of water for the day. I complain a little to him about how zonked I'm feeling, and he suggests I shotgun a tall glass of water, which he says always gives him a quick energy boost. I take his advice and pound that pint of water like it's a beer on my 21st birthday. The coldness of the water jolts my system awake and I go back to work.
Then, the chocolate cravings hit.
I usually get my sugar fix from fruit juices and don't have much of a sweet tooth for cakes and chocolate. But right now, all I can envision is shoving a warm chocolate chip cookie into my mouth. Sadly, there really is no room in this detox for that. Sigh.
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I cheated -- and got caught
My prequel diet is going well so far. This is my typical menu:
Breakfast: Two hardboiled eggs with a pinch of salt and pepper Snack: A pear Lunch: Kale and apple salad with olive oil and cilantro dressing along with a fist-sized piece of lemon and pepper roasted chicken breast Snack: Handful of almonds or dried cranberries Dinner: Another piece of chicken with asparagus and Brussels sprouts
It's Day 5 and I haven't cheated on my diet in any way. But today, I give in to peer pressure and fail to abstain from a "Detox Detractor": alcohol. My co-workers talk me into going to happy hour with them and of course, we run into our editor at the bar. First thought: Are there no other bars in town?! Second: Uh oh. My editor immediately points at me and exclaims, "Detox!" Since the jig is up I have two -- OK, fine, three -- glasses of white wine.
The lesson? When you're on any kind of detox diet, it's a given that your social life will take a hit. I have to decline a number of weekend activities because I know my willpower isn't strong enough to sip on seltzer while everybody else knocks back cosmos. But abstaining from alcohol is doing my liver a favor -- little consolation when you're turning down Saturday night plans, but something to keep in mind nonetheless.
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All clear from here
It's Day 7, the day before my juice fast, and I'm noticing something extraordinary. Right around the second week of every month, I normally start to break out as a not-so-happy reminder that my period is about to arrive. But today, I realize that my skin is completely clear -- no zit in sight. I talk to Gittleman about this happy side effect of her detox plan and she tells me it's due to all the liver-loving foods I've been eating -- asparagus, celery, and artichokes being three of the biggies.
"The liver is the body's most important filter," she says. "One of its jobs, besides detoxification, is being able to break down hormones into water-soluble metabolites, so they're not toxic to your system." And you guessed it: When those hormones aren't broken down, they cause breakouts that'll remind you of your face back in high school.
Wondering if your liver is compromised? Your body is likely telling you. Gittleman says some signs of distress include acne, indigestion, headaches, sleepiness after eating, weak tendons, and depression. This definitely fit the bill for me before I started this detox. And I have to say, not having to bust out the salicylic acid this week is definitely taking the sting out of giving up some of my favorite foods for the past seven days.
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They weren't kidding about the "cleanse" part
Alright, on to the gory details that are part of every detox (feel free to skip to the next slide if you're not into bathroom discussions). From the start of this little experiment, I've had the runs. While I do get them every once in awhile, they stayed with me throughout the week. Sure the extra fiber that I'm getting from all the veggies could account for my frequent jaunts to the ladies' room -- but why was it not, you know, solid? I talk to Gittleman about my case.
"It seems like your body needs a major cleansing of some sort of pathogenic bacteria that's possibly yeast-based," says Gittleman. "This diet illuminates an imbalance in your system." While my body's reaction is not common, Gittleman says it's not necessarily a bad thing, and suggests I consider my bathroom unpleasantries as a "parasitic dumping."
To help stabilize the bacterial balance in my intestines (and as a result, get me back on a more, shall I say, normal pooping schedule), Gittleman suggests I add a probiotic to my diet.
You know that infuriatingly skinny woman who can eat whatever she wants and won't gain a pound?
Yeah, well, I'm that girl.
What can I say, I've been blessed with good genes and a fast metabolism that allows me to have a second (or third) helping of dessert without ever stepping foot in a gym. As if you aren't hating me enough right now, here's some more fodder for your envy: I consume caffeine around the clock, have McDonald's for breakfast on most days, and I usually eat a microwaveable burrito for lunch. Oh, and I've never been on a "diet," let alone a detox diet.
OK, before you start to conjure up thoughts of stoning me, let me tell you that my unhealthy ways were starting to catch up with me (no shocker, I realize). My stomach often hurt; I was always bloated; my memory was becoming fuzzy; I woke up with headaches every morning; and no matter how many hours of shut-eye I got, I still was dependent on multiple coffee runs to get through my day. So it was great timing when my editor gave me this assignment: Go on a detox diet and write about your experience. I was assigned to "The Fast Track Detox Diet" by Dr. Ann Louise Gittleman, which consists of 10 days of restricted eating and a one-day juice fast.
While I silently cursed my editor in the weeks leading up to my detox diet, I was intrigued by the health and beauty benefits it dangled in front of me. Glowing skin, a stronger liver, and no midday energy crash were just a few of the promises. Curious about how I did and whether it worked? Keep reading.
