It's Day 7, the day before my juice fast, and I'm noticing something extraordinary. Right around the second week of every month, I normally start to break out as a not-so-happy reminder that my period is about to arrive. But today, I realize that my skin is completely clear -- no zit in sight. I talk to Gittleman about this happy side effect of her detox plan and she tells me it's due to all the liver-loving foods I've been eating -- asparagus, celery, and artichokes being three of the biggies.
"The liver is the body's most important filter," she says. "One of its jobs, besides detoxification, is being able to break down hormones into water-soluble metabolites, so they're not toxic to your system." And you guessed it: When those hormones aren't broken down, they cause breakouts that'll remind you of your face back in high school.
Wondering if your liver is compromised? Your body is likely telling you. Gittleman says some signs of distress include acne, indigestion, headaches, sleepiness after eating, weak tendons, and depression. This definitely fit the bill for me before I started this detox. And I have to say, not having to bust out the salicylic acid this week is definitely taking the sting out of giving up some of my favorite foods for the past seven days.
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They weren't kidding about the "cleanse" part
Alright, on to the gory details that are part of every detox (feel free to skip to the next slide if you're not into bathroom discussions). From the start of this little experiment, I've had the runs. While I do get them every once in awhile, they stayed with me throughout the week. Sure the extra fiber that I'm getting from all the veggies could account for my frequent jaunts to the ladies' room -- but why was it not, you know, solid? I talk to Gittleman about my case.
"It seems like your body needs a major cleansing of some sort of pathogenic bacteria that's possibly yeast-based," says Gittleman. "This diet illuminates an imbalance in your system." While my body's reaction is not common, Gittleman says it's not necessarily a bad thing, and suggests I consider my bathroom unpleasantries as a "parasitic dumping."
To help stabilize the bacterial balance in my intestines (and as a result, get me back on a more, shall I say, normal pooping schedule), Gittleman suggests I add a probiotic to my diet.
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Doomsday
The day I've been dreading has finally arrived: The juice fast. The plan is to drink a cup of "Miracle Juice" every other hour starting the moment I wake up until I go to sleep. I also have to drink a cup of water on the hours that I don't drink the cranberry concoction. Gittleman says this Miracle Juice "helps flush away toxic fluids, which can account for as much as 10 to 15 pounds of water weight trapped in our tissues," which is why people have claimed to lose up to eight pounds overnight on this cleanse.
Wondering what the heck is in this so-called Miracle Juice? Put this in your pitcher: 8 ounces of cranberry juice, 56 ounces of water, a bit of freshly squeezed orange and lemon juice, and warming spices like cinnamon (the cinnamon helps stave off hunger).
And so it begins:
9 a.m. I start drinking a cup of Miracle Juice every other hour, pounding water on my "other" hours.
1 p.m. I'm surprised I don't actually feel hungry, even though the scent of my co-workers' lunches are wafting through the office. Note to self: Sprinkle cinnamon on my lunch to see if it helps me avoid a mid-afternoon snack craving, post-detox, of course.
2 p.m. I start getting a headache and ask my co-worker, Anna, if I can borrow her Snuggie because I am freezing -- they must be blasting the air conditioner.
3 p.m. The coldness isn't going away. I'm starting to realize that it's just me. Anna feels my forehead and says I'm burning up. I think I have a fever.
4:45 p.m. The fever persists, I'm peeing every hour, and I'm still not hungry.
9:00 p.m. I get up from the couch for my scheduled cup of water and feel dizzy after standing.
10:00 p.m. I still have two more cups of Miracle Juice to go through, but I can't do it. I'm used to feeling mentally drained at the end of the day, but today my body is just shutting down. I'm going to sleep.
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And things take a turn for the worse ...
Deadweight. That's the first thing I think when I try to get out of my bed the morning after my Miracle Juice fast day. Each step I take is a conscious decision to expend energy. I take a shower but trying to wash my hair leaves me breathless; bending over to wash my legs is exhausting. By the time I get out of the shower, I feel nauseated and queasy, so I decide I have to eat something. I'm shaking as I walk down the stairs, holding on to the wall and railing. I have scrambled eggs and water for breakfast and feel better, but the thought of walking back up the stairs drains me so much that I sit on the couch for 10 minutes. Once I make it up the stairs, my body chills come back.
While Gittleman says the initial experience of the one-day fast can be "somewhat uncomfortable," my experience is a lot more extreme. She offers an explanation: "You were drained of electrolytes because of the consistent diarrhea, so you were just depleted by that point," she tells me. "Quite honestly, not everybody should be doing the one-day fast." If you're on medication that requires food as a buffer, have problems with your kidney or liver, have blood sugar difficulties, or have mental health issues, Gittleman recommends skipping the fast day, which can clearly be traumatic for some people (myself included).
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The results are in
I'm officially finished with my detox diet and head back to Dr. Murad's office for a follow-up appointment. I'm anxious to see if this (somewhat torturous experiment -- especially toward the end) would pay off in some way.
Weight: 103 pounds (I'm 5 pounds down and my friends say my face looks thinner.)
Wrinkles: 26th percentile (Up from the 17th percentile -- not bad!)
UV Spots: 52nd percentile (Hurrah! Cahitas says this 9 percent jump is a significant increase.)
I'm honestly amazed to see such tangible results in my wrinkles and UV spots after just 11 days -- especially considering I had such a bad reaction to the juice fast day. But as I start to incorporate healthier, solid foods back into my diet, I start to feel really good. My caffeine cravings have passed (a true miracle), and I'm feeling more energized and upbeat. I'm not even thinking about my beloved Micky D's. That feels as impressive as the improvements in my skin.
You know that infuriatingly skinny woman who can eat whatever she wants and won't gain a pound?
Yeah, well, I'm that girl.
What can I say, I've been blessed with good genes and a fast metabolism that allows me to have a second (or third) helping of dessert without ever stepping foot in a gym. As if you aren't hating me enough right now, here's some more fodder for your envy: I consume caffeine around the clock, have McDonald's for breakfast on most days, and I usually eat a microwaveable burrito for lunch. Oh, and I've never been on a "diet," let alone a detox diet.
OK, before you start to conjure up thoughts of stoning me, let me tell you that my unhealthy ways were starting to catch up with me (no shocker, I realize). My stomach often hurt; I was always bloated; my memory was becoming fuzzy; I woke up with headaches every morning; and no matter how many hours of shut-eye I got, I still was dependent on multiple coffee runs to get through my day. So it was great timing when my editor gave me this assignment: Go on a detox diet and write about your experience. I was assigned to "The Fast Track Detox Diet" by Dr. Ann Louise Gittleman, which consists of 10 days of restricted eating and a one-day juice fast.
While I silently cursed my editor in the weeks leading up to my detox diet, I was intrigued by the health and beauty benefits it dangled in front of me. Glowing skin, a stronger liver, and no midday energy crash were just a few of the promises. Curious about how I did and whether it worked? Keep reading.