While masturbating is helpful in becoming more mindful of your own pleasure, it doesn't fix the problem of, "What the hell do I do when I'm making grocery lists in my head while I'm having sex with my partner?"

When your mind starts to wander, Millheiser recommends focusing on your partner's breathing to stay present. "Unfortunately, women are multitaskers, so it can be difficult for them to home in on one thing at a time," Millheiser says. "When your brain starts to go elsewhere, gently bring it back, and listen to your partner's breath. That will help you focus on them and the moment."

Cavanah also recommends focusing on the sensation of what's happening with your partner and what you're doing to their body. While you may think that's what you're doing now, next time you jump between the sheets observe whether you're more focused on the physical stimulation happening or on pleasing your partner. You'd be surprised how often it's the latter.

If zeroing in on your pleasure is difficult (the struggle is real), put that wandering mind to work -- with fantasy.

"Fantasy will take you a long way," insists Cavanah. Not sure where to start? Get those creative juices flowing by reading erotica or watching porn, she says. "There are many options made by women that are very sexy."

Her recommendations: Recipe for Romance DVD, $34, and Best Women's Erotica 2016, Volume 2, $16.95.

Have fantasizing down (hello, Gerard Butler riding us off into the sunset) but your body still refuses to cooperate? There's this myth that women should be in the mood before they initiate sex. But sometimes women need to be physically stimulated in order to get excited about sex.

Millheiser regularly recommends a device called Fiera, which was developed by OBGYNs to help jumpstart a woman's sex drive. "Fiera is an over-the-counter device created to enhance sexual arousal and desire," says Millheiser. (Not to be confused with a vibrator.) "Essentially, it uses suction to increase blood flow to the vulva and as a result, it's been show that orgasms are more intense following the use of it."

In fact, one 68-year-old said the cute little device increased her sensitivity and turned things around for her and her husband. It may be a bit spendy -- priced at $199 by itself or $249 for the device and a remote -- but more than a few users claim it's worth it.

If that's a little bit out of your budget, try the Ultra Bullet, $56, which features more than 20 vibration settings, is waterproof and rechargeable. Or, pick up a mini vibrator like Iroha Stick Vibe, $22, which is discreet, travel friendly and perfect for clitoral stimulation. You may also find success with a topical arousal gel or balm like Babeland Arousal Balm, $6.

Don't underestimate the power of a good lubricant. "A feeling of wetness during sexual arousal aids in reducing friction and increasing pleasure during any type of sexual activity," Millheiser explains.

If you only need a little lubrication, reach for a water-based lube. Try: KY Ultragel Water Based Lubricant, $11.99. For endeavors that require more lubrication (including anal sex), reach for a silicone-based product, like Turn On Personal Silicone Lubrication, $10.19.

We get it. You're in a long-term relationship or have been married for 15-20 years (or, heck, even seven), and those feelings of giddiness and excitement have all but vanished from your love life. You've likely come across tons of articles about how to have better sex (like Elle Woods said, Cosmo is basically the female Bible): Be more spontaneous, try new positions, do it in public, blah, blah, blah. While those are all excellent suggestions, it's important to recognize where the flame needs igniting, and for most women, it comes down to the feeling of passion.

"Novelty is a big part of attraction," says Cavanah. "Trying something new together -- both in and out of bed -- makes a big difference." While you might not be ready to talk like a porn star or whip out the riding crop, Cavanah says even introducing a couple's vibrator to the bedroom can add a lot of excitement.

She recommends the We-Vibe Sync Vibrator, $199, which can be controlled by your partner with an app. If you want to take a page from "The Ugly Truth," you can even purchase vibrating panties to wear out on the town while your partner teases you all evening. If you want to go this route, Cavanah recommends picking up the OhMiBod BlueMotion Remote Vibrator, $129.

Outside of the bedroom, turn date night into mini adventures. What have you always wanted to try but haven't? From skydiving and rock climbing to dance or cooking classes, navigating new territory together stimulates a feeling of excitement and newness together (why do you think they always go bungee jumping on "The Bachelor"?)