I'm the type of girl who almost always chooses a massage over a facial. I mean, I can slather on chemical exfoliators and oils and creams at my own leisure but I can't exactly massage my lower back or get a crick out of my neck without inducing another.

So, when someone tells me that a facial (or any procedure, really) is going to involve something disgustingly satisfying — like extractions that I can watch up close in a mirror (I just did this at the magical place that is Golden Door) — sign me up for that derma-ballgame.

You can imagine the internal giddy delight I felt upon hearing about the newish Dermalinfusion facial, a non-invasive, 40-minute treatment that involves exfoliating your skin with a diamond tip, sucking out the goo from your pores (quite literally) and replacing said goo with hydrating serums. Here's the game-changing kicker, though. That goo, which consists of dirt, debris, bacteria, blackheads and essentially serum backwash, is inserted into a jar that you can observe with your own two eyes afterward.

Anyone who's spent a good 10 minutes or more observing the horrifying crime scene of a Biore pore strip will relish in the gift of this jar. Even my aesthetician at the MD Skin Lounge in Scottsdale, Ariz. was gung-ho about examining my post-facial jar of delights and encouraged me to photograph it (don't worry, I've included a picture ahead).

Image via @envymedical

For me, a facial is often a mix of soothing and mild discomfort accompanied by an hour or two of red skin. I was expecting that to be the case when I received the Dermalinfusion facial, but that wasn't so. My aesthetician told me that many women come in on their lunch break to have it done, as it takes less than an hour and your skin is magically brighter — not redder — upon departure.

I found that to be true in my experience. After cleansing my skin with a Clarisonic, the facial began with a gentle exfoliating via a diamond tip that felt quite relaxing.

Next came the sucking, which felt a little more aggressive but never painful. While the exfoliation removed dry cells and gently resurfaced my skin, the extracting tool — a patented, closed-looped vacuum — literally sucked gunk from pores for a deep clean. Also, at the exact point of extraction, my skin was infused with a hyaluronic acid serum into the epidermal layers of skin.

At no point did I feel pain, and immediately afterward my skin looked brighter, clearer and softer to the touch. It honestly felt as if a thousand little angels, each assigned their own pore upon my face, had flown into the room and gotten to work.

Image via @envymedical

It goes without saying that this level of exfoliation/extraction/hydration is going to make your skin look amazing. Consider it the professional carpet cleaning equivalent to a facial! I noticed an immediate difference in my skin sitting in the car getting ready to drive home and it lasted for a good two weeks following. My monthly "here's your PMS breakout" came and went without a single underground blemish, as well.

Image via Wendy Gould

And here's the real testament! My boyfriend — who never notices when I cut my hair and didn't notice the bounty of balloons hiding in plain sight within my car for his surprise birthday party — actually commented on the quality of my skin. Without prompting, people!

Image via Wendy Gould

Also a testament: the watery gunk sitting in the jar following the facial. My aesthetician told me that my skin was in really great shape and that it absorbed the majority of the serum that was applied. The residual serum, along with all the stuff that had been extracted, made for the cloudy jar of liquid you see here.

Image via Wendy Gould