It doesn't seem like your mother-in-law plans on relinquishing her post as your two-bedroom apartment's chief cooking-and-cleaning critic anytime soon. Needless to say, your hostess-with-the-mostess spirit is flagging.

The mask: Your picky guests are clearly in it for the long haul, which calls for not one, but two treatments (read: an excuse to hole up in the bathroom even longer). Start with Glossier's nutrient-packed Mega Greens Galaxy Pack, $22, to gently rid your pores of impurities, while taming inflammation. Follow it with Glossier Moisturizing Moon Mask, $22, for a heaping dose of nourishing almond oil and hyaluronic acid.

Pair it with: Chardonnay
A full-bodied white goes well with both the vegetal Galaxy and the creaminess of the Moon Mask. And when you finally emerge from your hideout, you won't have to worry about purple wine-stained teeth giving you away.

Buy the Masks Now

Image Source

Yes, you know that $700 would have been better spent on your 401K, but those gold strappy heels were just too pretty to pass up. Unfortunately Fluffy's iron jaws have rendered them unwearable.

The mask: Origins Original Skin Retexturizing Mask with Rose Clay, $25
Rough, bumpy skin becomes a thing of the past, thanks to this skin-refining mask. Using rose clay, willow herbs and jojoba beads, this mask purifies and exfoliates, leaving skin clear and baby-soft. Once you smooth out your complexion, you can consider smoothing over things with your pup.

Pair it with: Rosé
Rose clay with rosé -- it just sounds right (the rhyming helps). And if you're going to pour one out for your sartorial loss, it might as well be in a shade that would have looked amazing with the kicks you're mourning.

Buy the Mask Now

Image Source

Let's just say if your performance review were written in Emoji, it would just be rows and rows of sad faces :-(.

The mask: Mission Grove Hydrating Mask, $16
Designed to be a multisensory experience, this product features a blend of aromatherapy ingredients to give you the zen-like calm you need before stepping foot in your office again. Of course, it'll also leave your skin feeling plump and hydrated, thanks to aloe vera, hyaluronic acid and rose hip seed oil.

Pair it with: Lambrusco
Fragrant, fizzy and fruity, this sparkling red is just what you need to take the edge off after a long day. Not to mention, it's less boozy than other reds, minimizing the chances that you'll be hungover come morning.

Buy the Mask Now

Image Source

It didn't occur to you how unfortunate it was that "Dan" and "Dad" were next to each other in your phonebook until it was too late. Now you're wondering why you thought that spicy text message was such a good idea in the first place.

The mask: Dermalogica Charcoal Rescue Masque, $46
So you feel like burying your head in the sand. We think covering your face in this earthy mask is probably the next best thing. It revives dull skin with a mix of impurity-clearing activated binchotan charcoal and sulfur, which brightens skin by boosting cell turnover. When you're finally ready to face your family, at least your pores will be in great shape.

Pair it with: Pinot Noir
Any earthy wine for an earthy mask. Pinot's big enough to stand up to the detoxifying powers of this no-nonsense product, but it goes down easy -- so keep the glasses coming. You need to forget this ish.

Buy the Mask Now

Image via Getty Images

How will you finish watching "Jessica Jones" now?

The mask: Lindsay Rubber Modeling Mask in Lavender, $6
Mixing up this Korean import (simply add water to the powder and stir with the enclosed spatula), and then slowly peeling it off, as if to reveal a whole new face (dun dun dun!) is probably as entertaining -- and definitely as satisfying -- as any show you could have streamed. Think of it as a sheet mask on steroids. Because this thick mask perfectly conforms to your face, it allows your skin to absorb the good-for-you ingredients that work to give you a healthy, glowing visage -- without letting them evaporate. Antioxidant-packed lavender protects your skin from pollutants, while its aroma helps you relax. Just because you can't Netflix, doesn't mean you can't chill.

Pair it with: Zinfandel
Even without tuning in, you know a hearty medium-bodied red is exactly the type of thing your favorite TV heroines would be swirling in their oversized wine goblets.

Image Source