Evens out your blotchy self-tanning job, so you don't look like a walking vomit-flavored Bertie Botts bean.
Heals burns from curling irons and straighteners quicker than any treatment you'd get in the Hospital Wing.
Takes the brassiness out of dyed blonde hair, so your color stays fiercer than Draco Malfoy's.
Plants an urgent reminder in the head of that oh-so-forgetful friend who borrowed your favorite perfume and needs to return it stat.