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20 Secrets to Getting People to Like You

These tiny tweaks are the secrets behind making everyone want to friend you on Facebook and in real life
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Get Them Talking About Their Favorite Subject
To get people to like you, let them talk about their favorite subject: themselves. Studies show that talking about one's self stimulates the same sensation in the brain as food or money. So, to make someone feel like they just won the lottery by striking up a conversation with you, ask them questions about their career, significant other, family or pets. Continue to ask questions until you strike upon something they light up about.

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Save the Bragging for Your Holiday Card
Humans have a natural inclination to out-do each other. Oh, you went backpacking through France for a month? The one-upper will respond that he or she lived there for a year. Put your ego aside and allow them to have the glory. Instead of using it as an opportunity to bring up your own experiences, keep the attention focused on the other person.

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Disagree the Right Way
Science shows that contradiction triggers the shutdown of the logical side of the brain and puts the brain into fight-or-flight mode. It's hard to get people to like you when they're running away or preparing for a fight, so when possible, avoid pointing out when someone is incorrect.

When someone says something you disagree with, seek first to understand. Say something like, "Wow, that's fascinating. I've never heard that perspective. How did you come up with that?"

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Ask for Advice
Studies show that in the workplace, seeking advice is one of the best ways to influence people. It suggests that you value that person's opinion, which makes them feel important. Also, confiding in someone about a problem makes you appear vulnerable -- meaning you're a friend, not a threatening foe.

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Match Your Body Language to Your Words
People like other people most when their words are non-judgmental and positive -- and your body language should reflect the same. When there's a disconnect between your words and your body language, people regard you as insincere. The best stance to convey openness and agreeability:

-Keep your palms up and open. This signals that you're open to what they have to say.

-Smile. It develops trust.

-Keep your body angled towards the person. Don't cross your arms or legs -- this suggests that you're closed off.



Everyone wants to be liked. From the day we start school to the day we enter the workforce, we yearn for approval. Even the most cynical types secretly care about how they are received. If you don't believe that, science backs it up. Psychologist Abraham Maslow points out that humans are social creatures; we need each other to survive. As a result, the need to feel love and belonging are programmed into our DNA.

Feeling accepted and having people like you is the first step to making friends, and research shows that friendship is crucial to living a long, healthy life. In one study, researchers found that being socially isolated is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

In a time when much of our social interaction takes place behind screens, it can be exhausting to figure out how to turn on the charm. But with just a few simple tweaks, you can win people over instantly -- and, since studies show that those with meaningful friendships have a 50 percent higher chance of survival than those without, these tips could add years to your life. Here, the secrets to getting people to like you.
BY EMILY WOODRUFF | MAY 31, 2016 | SHARES
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