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20 Secrets to Getting People to Like You

These tiny tweaks are the secrets behind making everyone want to friend you on Facebook and in real life
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Act Like You Like Them
Now is not the time to rely on your second-grade instinct of teasing someone or playing hard to convey your affection. If you want someone to like you, act like you like that person. In one study, when participants were told that someone either liked them or didn't like them after two participants had a 10-minute conversation, it affected how much they liked that person by almost 50 percent. When someone thinks you like them, it automatically raises their esteem for you.

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Don't Fidget
What do you do when you're bored? Tap your foot, crack your knuckles or play with your hair, right? These universal signs of boredom are things to avoid when meeting new people, since they're also typical habits when you're nervous. Fidgeting makes people think you're bored, lying or anxious -- all bad vibes to send when you're trying to get someone to like you.

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Imagine They're an Old Friend
Meeting new people can be anxiety-inducing, no doubt about it. But pretending that person is an old friend will not only put you at ease, it also creates a quick bond. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy -- if you act like you've liked someone for years, you'll start to actually like them.

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Put Yourself in Vulnerable Situations
Remember when you started kindergarten? You were on your own for the first time in a new environment with a bunch of strangers. What did you do? You made friends, and you did so quickly and easily. When we're put into vulnerable situations, we cope by connecting with others in the same situation.

To initiate this sort of bonding, do something with a potential new friend that scares you. Join a hiking club or volunteer in a hospital. Stressful situations can turn into bonding experiences.

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Ask Two Questions
There is a trick to getting someone to feel good about his or her life. First, ask them a question you know will have a positive answer. For example, bring up a recent promotion or travel experience of theirs. Then, ask them about life in general. By first reflecting on the positive answer, people are way more likely to respond positively about their life as a whole. And when you make someone feel good about their life, they like you a lot more.

Everyone wants to be liked. From the day we start school to the day we enter the workforce, we yearn for approval. Even the most cynical types secretly care about how they are received. If you don't believe that, science backs it up. Psychologist Abraham Maslow points out that humans are social creatures; we need each other to survive. As a result, the need to feel love and belonging are programmed into our DNA.

Feeling accepted and having people like you is the first step to making friends, and research shows that friendship is crucial to living a long, healthy life. In one study, researchers found that being socially isolated is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

In a time when much of our social interaction takes place behind screens, it can be exhausting to figure out how to turn on the charm. But with just a few simple tweaks, you can win people over instantly -- and, since studies show that those with meaningful friendships have a 50 percent higher chance of survival than those without, these tips could add years to your life. Here, the secrets to getting people to like you.
BY EMILY WOODRUFF | MAY 31, 2016 | SHARES
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