This is a struggle for those of us who have coils and kinks. Curly hair is often shown as these beautiful beach waves that look effortless and gorgeous at all times — and they're usually shown on white women. But that isn't an accurate representation of all curls. All curl types are valid, but often Type 4s are looked at differently and we're constantly made aware of it. There's a discrimination against the kinkier curl type that has a lot to do with internalized racism and classicism, but that's a huge conversation to unpack.

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I remember my new boo asking if we could go out a certain day and I said: "I can't; it's wash day" and he thought I was just blowing him off. When we say it takes all day, we mean it. Every now and then we do a wash and go, but this is not the standard.

We do a pre-poo, wash, deep condition, detangle, rinse, add a leave-in, put another treatment on top of that, seal with an oil of your choice and then style. This is not just "I'll wash my hair quickly" vibes. You've gotta be READY.

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Curls need a lot of moisture, but it also needs to be controlled. So basically, the higher your porosity, the more moisture you need in your hair. And whatever moisture you add needs to be controlled with product and sometimes a sealing oil.

But the wrong type of moisture? Aka rain? A humid day? A swim in the pool? Not our best friends. We have to do various things to protect our hair in these situations so that we don't look like poodles with bad haircuts.

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Most of them are things we tried and did not work, but were expensive, so we keep them anyway.

The others are things that work in various combinations and do various things. These are oils, co-washes, deep-conditioning treatments, gels, leave-in conditioners, puddings, mousse, wax, creams, and cleansers. If we had to calculate how much money we've spent on hair products since we started going natural... ugh, sorry, just thinking about it is hard for me.

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Oh no. We've either had horrible haircuts happen to us, or seen them happen to other people. Remember Marcia Clark in the 90s? And how she had to have a makeover to be taken seriously? Yeah, curly girls watching American Crime Story weren't just crying because Sarah Paulson is a great actress (I mean, she is though).

So we need to go to someone who is trained in the art of the curl. Someone who we know can handle it and knows that curly hair doesn't grow down, it grows out. And in layers. (It's very confusing.)

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