You can discover all sorts of crazy stuff from home DNA tests: just how Irish you are (or aren't); how well you handle booze and coffee; if you have superhuman language ability; and whether you should avoid steak like the plague.

Recently, DNA-testing technology has opened up another wide world of information to the average consumer: what the hell is up with your skin. HomeDNA's Skin Care kit, $99, allows you to mail in your DNA sample and, in return, receive a detailed report about your skin's genetic predispositions and expert-recommended treatment options.

In other words, you no longer need to wonder how broke your face is going to look in the near and distant future. HomeDNA is here to tell you -- and help you stave off the damage.

I took this DNA test hoping to see WTF is going on with this mug of mine -- not just now, but also down the road. Here's what I learned.

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When you get your HomeDNA Skin Care kit, you start by registering your kit's barcode online, adding your name, email address and other info. Elsewhere in the box, you'll find four cotton swabs.

To collect your DNA sample, you rub each of the swabs on the inside of your cheek for several seconds. After that, you drop your swabs in a prepaid envelope and ship it to HomeDNA's lab.

HomeDNA will send you an email when they receive your samples; about six weeks later, you get an email with your DNA report.

This DNA test looks at several genes to paint a picture of your skin and how it will likely age. It also measures your genetic makeup against the global average in seven categories: collagen quality; skin elasticity; fine lines and wrinkles; sun protection; pigmentation; skin antioxidants; and skin sensitivity.

In each of those categories, your results show where your genes fall on a spectrum ranging from "optimal" to "non-ideal." Your report also contains personalized recommendations for how to best care for your skin using topical ingredients, supplements and professional treatments.

When my report arrived in my email inbox, I couldn't wait to open it. The results were broken down in 11 pages.

The good news: I dominated in the category of skin antioxidants. Apparently my body rocks at scavenging free radicals to protect my skin from oxidative damage. My genes also show that I'm relatively immune to irritation from pollution.

I also fared pretty well in the category of pigmentation; my report tells me I have only a partially increased risk of skin discoloration and freckling. I'm well above the global average here.

If you thought I was bragging about my results just now, guess again. In the bell curve of genetic skin function, I'm basically a D student.

HomeDNA says my genetic functionis below the global average on five out of seven measures: fine lines and wrinkles; sun protection; skin sensitivity; skin elasticity; and collagen quality. Yeahhhhh.

The lowlights: I'm terrible at breaking down glucose, which elevates my risk for wrinkles, thinning skin and fine lines. Also, my body's ability to protect itself from the cellular damage caused by UV light is pretty poor.

Not one, not two, but three different genes show that I have an explosive inflammatory response. This probably explains my occasionally brutal hormonal acne, tendency to bruise, and sensitivity to skin-care products and detergents.

Oh, and my collagen sucks! Apparently, the genes that are responsible for creating new collagen fiber in my skinare destined for a lifetime of underachievement.

Also, HomeDNA calls the "quality" of my "collagen structure" "less than optimal." Sick burn.

Now, I'm pretty nuts about skin care. When I was in elementary school, my mom got so tired of me stealing her Olay moisturizer that she started buying it for me. I was using anti-aging serum before I could legally vote. I've done countless interviews with top dermatologists and I routinely get into the weeds of dermatological research writing skin-care guides like these.

That's why I was surprised when I actually learned something from HomeDNA's personalized recommendations. Not just something -- quite a lot.

I own an array of anti-aging products containing a good deal of the ingredients recommended for my skin, like niacinamide and glycolic acid. However, HomeDNA also recommended treatments I'd never even considered: topical kombucha and pine bark extract; a reduced-sugar diet (still not considering that one); silica supplements; and dermal needling.

All in all, HomeDNA recommended almost 50 different topicals, supplements and in-office treatments for me. The sheer volume of suggestions left me feeling super edu-ma-cated about my options but also a tad overwhelmed -- which says a lot, coming from a dermatology nerd like me.

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