The internet was all atwitter when the wellness brand Goop published this Q&A with actress/blogger Shiva Rose. Rose endorses the use of jade "yoni eggs," stones that are inserted into the vagina for hours or days at a time. She claims these stones have "incredible clearing, cleansing powers" and "intensify feminine energy." Rose also adds that the eggs "cultivate sexual energy, increase orgasm, balance the cycle" and "tighten and tone."

Goop echoes these sentiments, writing "Jade eggs' power to cleanse and clear make them ideal for detox." Simultaneously, Goop began selling jade and rose quartz yoni eggs on its website for $66 and $55 apiece, respectively. The story sparked an ongoing feud between Goop and Dr. Jen Gunter, an OB/GYN and blogger who insists that leaving the porous yoni egg in the vagina could cause toxic shock syndrome. Goop's official response: "There is no case/study/report which links the two."

DePree agrees with Goop's editors that there are no clinical studies about jade's effect on the vagina, as far as she knows -- which is exactly why you shouldn't be putting rocks in your special place.

"I have seen no clinical trials on the safety of placing a jade object in the vagina, nor have I seen evidence of its benefits or outcomes in detoxing or improving sex," says DePree. "So I'd say the absence of studies linking jade eggs to TSS is the same issue I have with saying the jade eggs benefit with detoxing and improving sex: Show me the data."

"There is also the risk of ulceration," she continues. "An object pressing on the walls of the vagina over a long period of time may erode or break down the vaginal lining... Think about sticking a marble in the corner of your mouth for days. It is likely to ulcerate the area it is in contact with over time."

"There is no reason to believe that placing any crystals in the vagina should be helpful," Minkin agrees. "If these are abrasive, they could cut the tissue. And if they are smooth and inert, I have no scientific reason to believe they are doing anything therapeutic."

There is a kernel of truth to the jade-egg idea: Many doctors recommend vaginal devices or weights to tone pelvic floor muscles. But these products are supposed to be inserted in the vagina for short periods of time, Minkin says. And they aren't made of jade, quartz or other so-called energy-imparting stones.

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Jade eggs aren't the only vaginal care phenomenon popularized on Goop; its editors also wax poetic about the V-Steam, available at Tikkun Spa in Santa Monica, California, among other places. Tikkun's treatment involves squatting over a boiling herbal tea of mugwort and flower buds for 30 to 45 minutes, letting the steam mingle with one's nether regions.

"A combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al," Goop's website reads. "It is an energetic release -- not just a steam douche -- that balances female hormone levels."

Minkin says she is "very concerned" by the prospect of vaginal steams, "which can lead to burns." "The most delicate tissues women have are the vulva and vaginal tissues," she explains. "The less toxicity to this delicate tissue, the better... There is no biological reason to steam anything."

DePree didn't mince words about vaginal steaming. "If you burn the vaginal walls, the superficial layers of the vagina will slough," she says. "In the healing process, the walls of the vagina may adhere together and create a very difficult situation, essentially obliterating the vaginal canal."

To paraphrase: YOU CAN BURN YOUR VAGINA SHUT.

If burning your vaginal canal closed sounds like a real-life horror show, DePree agrees with you. "I have seen this happen when women have used irritating products," she reports. "It's a nightmare to treat."

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Our MDs couldn't recommend yoni pearls, yoni eggs or V-steams for promoting vaginal health. But are there any mass-marketed vaginal cleansing products that normal, healthy women should be using?

"Honestly, no," says DePree. "The vagina is self-cleaning! The normal secretions of the vagina act as a mechanism to remove cellular debris, and new skin appears there, just like every other area of the body. The skin of the vulva can be very sensitive, so this is an area where the 'less is best' rule applies."

DePree recommends cleansing a healthy vagina with mild soap and water, or even just water. "This is one area ... where [women] are truly low-maintenance, so enjoy, and spend the energy somewhere else!"

Minkin is on the same page. "Unfortunately, many products out there are very disruptive of the pH balance," she says. "If folks do want to wash, I would encourage just plain water and a mild soap."

If you really believe something is awry with your vagina, both doctors recommend one over-the-counter product for keeping your vagina clean and pH-balanced. "When women complain to me about an odor, I often suggest they try a product like RepHresh," Minkin says.

DePree agrees, saying it "can be helpful to maintain or restore the pH if it has been disrupted... But, generally speaking, there is no specialized cleaning regime or treatment needed for the vulva or vagina."

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Why do so many vaginal cleansing and vaginal "detoxing" products exist if they're so risky? Because there's a market for them. Some women feel insecure about whether their vagina is sufficiently clean and fresh.

And why would the companies that sell them want you to think any differently? They've got skin in the game. The feminine hygiene market has lately exhibited steady growth; by 2020, it's projected to reach $6.2 billion in the U.S. and $40 billion globally.

"There is definitely a big market for [these products]," says DePree. "In my opinion, there is an incredible amount of money spent for no good reason. And if you are unfortunate enough to have an adverse reaction to these products, you only create new issues."

And if you've ever worried about your vagina's smell, you probably don't need to.

"After 38 years in gynecological practice, I can say that women are much more attuned to their own scents than other folks are," Minkin assures. "The majority of times that a woman comes in complaining of a significant odor, I really don't smell much of anything."

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And what if there's something genuinely wrong with your vagina -- a newly funky smell, a persistent itch, or pain during sex? Then you don't need a detox; you need a doctor.

"If you are experiencing a bothersome change in vaginal discharge; odor or discomfort; vulvar skin changes, itching or irritation; or pain with intercourse, let your provider know," DePree says. "A thorough exam should be performed to determine the cause, and then, of course, the proper treatment."

Women should also be aware of the signs of pelvic inflammatory disease, an infection of the reproductive organs that requires immediate treatment by a doctor. "If a woman were to develop pelvic inflammatory disease, she would usually have significant pelvic pain, fever, and possibly some bleeding," says Minkin.

But if anyone ever tries to tell you to detox your vagina -- or your uterus, your cervix, or your freakin' chi pathways -- for the love of yoni, don't do it.

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